Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The "lost" years

Recently, in conversation with relatives, the subject turned to "lost" years. Those are the years a mom or dad takes care of x number of children under the age of five. Whoa, wait a minute.
I am not saying the years are lost, as in a waste of time. Quite the contrary, they are the most precious for a the developing family. Those years disappear into the past at lighting speed.

What I mean is they are lost in terms of conscious awareness of the world outside the growing family. These are the years parents find difficult to keep up friendships, extended family, current events, and music.

I guess it is true of any period that requires prolonged, intense concentration. My husband, doesn't remember any movies or music between 1967 and 1968 while he was in Viet Nam - and those were amazing years for music.

Our conversation was a reminder to friends and grandparents to be patient with young parents; especially during this hectic period in their lives. Yes, they may not be calling as often as they should and may seem a little ditsy. But remember, it is nothing personal. This is a critical time for an emerging family and they should be concentrating on themselves - even if it seems the're in the midst of a war zone.

1 comment:

  1. Darce, I'd never thought of those years in that way, but you're absolutely right. When you're sleep-deprived, deep into diapers, Sesame Street and preschool, it's hard to find time to keep up with things outside that realm. Very interesting. Thank you.