Thursday, March 26, 2009

Adventures in flying part 2, security -again

My airport experience flying back to Virginia was covered here.
Adventures in flying - part 1 - Missing laptop, is
here .

I pick up the story on our travel adventures on the way to the airport in Virginia. We did get the laptop and we were still on time for the flight. All of the sudden, tension gone, we break into uncontrollable laughter, tears are steaming down our faces. Each of us tried to replicate the sound Dennie made going in the window, to retrieve the laptop. Since Dennie was the one to "break in" to the condo for my forgotten laptop: I felt I owed her to make sure I didn't cause a "stink" at airport security - this time.

Dennie has always embarrassed easily. She is also a retired CHP officer so she follows the rules. She claimed the hassle with security going east was because I had the water bottle in the first place. Therefore, driving to the airport, I promised her I would not take a water bottle with me. The words were hardly out of my mouth when I reached in my coat pocket and realized I had a plastic bottle of diet coke. It was unopened. I really, really, wanted it for the long, 8-hour cross country flight.

I suggested since it was plastic, maybe I could just leave it in my coat pocket. I saw the muscles in her jaw twitch and it was still dark! Remembering the sight of her hanging half in and half out the window, I promise I will throw away the coke too. After checking our bags, we went into the restroom where she watched me pour my soda down the sink and throw the bottle away - Sigh.

We were approaching security when I remembered they insist on having laptops out of the bags. We stop so I could get the multi-zippered bag in the right direction, with the right zipper slightly opened for easy removal. A few feet closer and I reach in my purse and get out my boarding pass. We are almost there when I remembered to take out my driver's license too. See, I say to her, I have everything ready and I won't cause any trouble. She looked relieved.

I am proud of myself, I am completely ready for a smooth pass through security. We get to the scanner belt, efficiently I grab two of the plastic tubs, put my laptop bag in one with computer out and on top. I put my shoes and purse in the other tub. I am told to step through the body scanner. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! Do you have any metal on you? Anything in your pockets? No, but I have an artificial hip -which by the way has NEVER caused a security device to go off in 4 years.

Step over here! I look around for Dennie - she has gone through the other side and is gathering up our stuff. I give her a look that I hope says "I didn't do anything". The TSA women must know I am now getting anxious as once again I start sweating and she has to repeat instructions to me a couple of times. Arms straight out - palms up! I said, palms up! Here, turn your hand this way! Now I feel my face turning red with embarrassment - once again my brain is shutting down. I am in a glass enclosure where everyone can see in. The women pats me down. She lifts my blouse, and starts to unbutton my pants! I am not kidding! I grab her hand. She says roll your pants down. I am searching for Dennie's eyes again. The woman rolls the waist of my pants over - I know my underwear shows. I keep my eyes on my sister and try to relax and breathe. Finally, she says I can go.

I leave the glass cage and Dennie hands me my shoes and laptop. I try to explain to her I didn't do anything. She says, yeah, that was weird with your pants...

Stay tune for adventures in flying -part 3 - crying babies.

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