BEING ALONE IN MY BEEPING HOUSE

I have to admit to feeling very conflicted about being alone while Jim was on his adventure in Vietnam with our daughter.

One minute I was excited about being on my own for the first time in my life, the next minute I was full of anxiety about being left alone and not knowing how I would function. That may sound extreme, but since my stroke, there are many 'activities of daily living' (as the medical profession calls them) that can be a challenge for me.

We had considered many alternatives for my safety, including, going to a relative's or friend's house or having someone come here (thanks for all the gracious offers). I even thought about going on a cruise where meals, room, entertainment, even a doctor/medical clinic are available. Don't laugh,there are some incredible deals for cruises as low as $42 per day; a fraction of assistive living costs.

I am so glad we moved to our retirement community when we did. The house is built for 'aging in place' and has many of the safety features that I now appreciate - things like hand rails in the shower and taller toilets. When we first moved in, I could not believe how many beeps, tones, buzzes and alarms there were in our house. There would be a beep when a door opened. The stove beeps at setting changes or if left unattended. The dishwasher beeps. The refrigerator chimes if a door is ajar. The very sounds I thought I might find annoying were a comfort to me these last couple of weeks.

I have always felt strong and in control of my life - until the stroke.
I am trying desperately to regain that feeling. Daily, I do several hours of cognitive therapy (which includes this blog). I had to put my ego aside to use whatever assistive devices make my life easier; service dog, cane, prism glasses, tricycle for transportation, strangers kind offers of help, and handicapped public access features. Thank God for the American Disabilities Act(ADA).

I DID IT! I stayed alone and enjoyed recovering more independence. I got to know my (new)self a little better and I didn't burn the house down!

Okay, there was that one morning, at 6:00am, when I let the dogs out the patio door without first turning off the security alarm. But hey, I got to know a few more of our neighbors ;)